Many people are clueless as to how they can support a family member or friend in their bid to quit smoking. Other than a few “Way to go” pats on the back, any real help is beyond their normal thinking. Show them the following list of ways they can help you kick the habit.

• Don’t offer advice. Instead, ask how you can help with the plan or program they are using. Respect that the quitter is in charge. This is their lifestyle change and their challenge, not yours.

• Don’t take the quitter’s grumpiness personally during his or her nicotine withdrawal. The symptoms will pass in about two weeks.

• Celebrate along the way. Quitting smoking is a BIG DEAL! Give lots of rewards and praise for getting through a day, week, month, or year(s) of not smoking.

• Ask the person whether he or she wants you to call or visit regularly to see how he or she is doing. Let the person know that it’s okay to call you whenever he or she needs to hear encouraging words.

• Help the quitter get what she or he needs, such as hard candy to suck on, straws to chew on, fresh veggies cut up and kept cold in the refrigerator, etc.

• Spend time doing things with the quitter to keep his or her mind off smoking – go to the movies or take a walk to get past a craving (what many call a "nicotine fit").

• If the smoker relapses, praise him or her for trying to quit, and for whatever length of time (days, weeks, or months) of not smoking. Encourage him or her to try again! Instead of saying "If you try again…" Say, "When you try again…"

Studies show that most people who don’t succeed in quitting are ready to try again in the near future. Encourage him or her to learn from the attempt. Things a person learns from a failed attempt to quit may help him or her be successful in a future attempt.

Be understanding. Smokers do not smoke because they are stupid. They don’t smoke because they are mean or obnoxious and wish to hurt their families and friends. They smoke because they are human, and as humans they make mistakes.

One mistake that all smokers are guilty of is experimentation with a highly addictive and dangerous drug—nicotine. Many of them took up smoking long before any dangers were known. When they realized the dangers, they may have attempted to quit, but for some it is not easy. They are hooked on a drug, and it will take strong resolve and a support system to overcome the initial difficulties encountered during the quitting process.

The best support which can be provided by significant others is to offer love, patience and understanding, and to try to make the smoker’s life as easy as possible over the first few days. The smoker giving up cigarettes may have severe emotional outbursts and be irritable, depressed, and even irrational.
These are all the effects of nicotine withdrawal. Many family members and friends will encourage them to smoke rather than act like that. If they were recovering alcoholics, they would not be offered drinks by these people. If they were reacting to chemotherapy they would not be begged to give it up and sacrifice their lives for the family’s momentary comfort.

Unfortunately, many friends and family members often do not take smoking cessation seriously enough. We are not talking about giving up a simple little annoyance such as biting of nails. We are talking about a powerful and deadly addiction. They are dealing with a real physiological need as well as a strongly ingrained psychological dependence.

Offer the most encouragement you can. Be tolerant of their temporary emotional outbursts. They will soon return to normal, and you will have the personal satisfaction of knowing you helped them over one of the greatest challenges of their lives—giving up cigarettes.

Speaking of relapse, it could happen. It’s a reality. Nicotine is a drug that you won’t easily forget. Some smokers who’ve been without a cigarette for years say that they never really lose the desire to have just one smoke here and there. What if you do give in to that thinking?